Spontaneous acts of Bone Collecting

19 May, 2019

I do marvel at the wisdom of the universe and I never cease to be amazed at how the vision is consistently moving each and every one of us towards a state of healing and wholeness,

even when it seems that what you are being asked to do is crazy, or at least a little ‘out-there’,

it is a fundamental truth that there is a ‘method in the madness’!

If you can have even a mustard seed of faith to follow the wisdom of your inner guidance, you will begin to hear your vision communicating with you and come to feel the forward and upward movement of the universal flow which is inherently positive and expansive.

If you go with the prompts you are given, you will find that there is a wonderful kind of ‘sense making’ that truly brings it all together, even if it does not make sense at the time.

Right now I find myself here in Cairns, Far North Queensland; for many it is a rainforested tropical paradise– to me? – it is a ground abundant with opportunities for Bone Collecting!

This is a place where I had left fragments of myself decades ago,

fragments of my soul that had been either broken off or stolen, were left here, without my really having the words to describe what was happening at the time.

This place is a reminder of how things used to be for me, a former self long buried but never really forgotten, as over the years my soul has been gradually healing,

stitched back together by serendipitous relationships that have been divinely guiding me back to myself and my truth.

So, it is now I find myself here (hear) with fresh eyes and experiencing a deep compassion for the self and soul that I was,

lost,

dazed,

confused,

and desperately trying to make it in a world for which I had very few skills for navigation.

As it is with such broken souls, the world was not kind, responding to the energetic frequency that I held at the time,

a weighted soul,

a thickness,

a deep density,

that attracted much darkness that was a perfect match for the space that I was holding at the time.

It is true that I was completely oblivious to it all, so much was buried in the shadow, and what I had was a wonderfully developed persona,

I’m tough,

I don’t need anyone,

Feelings? What are they?

The shut down was complete and absolute, and incredibly painful despite my protestations that I was OK, doing great!

I would love to be able to say that I was born awakened, that I met all of life with an enlightened mind, but this would be an untruth.

But like any truth, there are always two sides – I was fool enough to believe that my past didn’t matter and that my determination and ‘toughness’ did,

but I was wise enough to respond to the, lets call them prompts, from the universe that gave me the awareness that my past DID in fact matter,

and that my healing and wholeness work was imperative.

So it was that my bone collecting began,

Questioning – what the hell is going on here?

How can I make sense of myself?

How can I make sense of life?

I had gone out into the world, desperately wanting to make a difference.

Setting aside your thoughts about Michael Jackson, ‘Heal the World’ was one of my favourite songs growing up and I truly thought that I could do this, without consideration to my own healing journey.

Well again, I was certainly ‘woke’ soon enough, with the universe providing ample mirrors to show that my exterior was NOT what the world was going to respond to,

and that the deep impacts on my psyche that life had imprinted were the true language of the universe,

creating everything that I was experiencing,

and everything that I would continue to experience should I choose to remain oblivious to the machinations of the human organism that I was inhabiting!

It was certainly true that I left my childhood feeling

Dazed,

Confused,

and disoriented,

kind of like psychological or spiritual shock were my soul had left the light of love, incarnated, and faced the whirlwind that was my early life!

Having no other benchmark, one comes to think of this as ALL of life, rather than just one dimension of experience, one of many frequencies that you may find yourself in at any given time.

The lower frequencies I inhabited make complete sense to me now, with the ancestral patterns of what is known as ‘soul stealing’ being rife within my family, causing much mental and emotional distress from your ‘garden variety’ anxiety, depression and subsequent addiction, right through to psychosis, suicide, and the worst of the worst: ‘disordered within your person’.

My ancestral line has it all, and along with it the ‘bad behaviour’ that continues generation after generation, with kin taking the ‘essence that is you’ to try to energise themselves.

It is ugly and, without benchmarks, who is to know what you receive, what you experience, what the impacts really are – on the continuum of life’s opportunities, where does this sit?

How impactful are these experiences really?

And so you do your best, and hope for the best, and then life happens,

And life reveals,

And life eventually shows you that there is no getting out of this,

the healing work is a requirement.

There is no avoiding you.

No matter how strongly you hold onto the mask and hope that others look no further, the fragments or fractures are apparent and are revealed in so many ways,

which is life showing you the way,

it is your vision showing you the healing work that gets to be done so you can heal, move on, and create the life that you are really here to create!

This truly is the work,

separating out the bits that don’t belong to you,

reclaiming the pieces that have been taken,

piecing it all together in the magical process of Bone Collecting – the indestructible parts of you that have always been, even if they have been fragmented and cast to the four corners of the Earth.

For me in this moment, in meeting this place again which is truly the birthplace of my awakening to self, life and soul,

returning to a place that has taught me so much, even if these lessons were painful at the time,

I find this process of Bone Collecting spontaneously activated, and again marvel at the Universe that knew exactly why I needed to come here, even if I didn’t!

I find pieces of my soul being called home,

I can feel a deep healing taking place with a profound sense of compassion for my younger self who tried so hard, meant so well, but had no clue!

But again, as with any truth, there is always the other side, because as much as I was lost, confused and shut-down,

I was wise enough to listen to what life offered up to me,

To see that it was happening FOR ME,

So that I could awaken and rise into my potential.

This was my intuitive knowing, the knowing that just ‘is’ despite that you are told, and I am eternally grateful that it came through as clearly as it did,

because understanding this ONE THING has allowed me to evolve from living a life in victim consciousness where life seemed chaotic, out of control and constantly happening TO ME,

to living a life of FREEDOM, where I know that life is happening FOR ME, where I truly am the co-creator of my world, in divine partnership with soul and spirit.

I could never have come to this on my own, and am so humbled and grateful that I have had life as my teacher, guide and loving support.

And so here again, in this moment, I invite you to engage in some spontaneous acts of bone collecting and offer you this as you journey:

I see you,

I hear you,

I feel you,

I am right there with you!!

So much love to you

Toni-Anne

 

PS: I am so excited about our next offering that is coming your way VERY SOON!

If this is post singing to you, then you will not want to miss this wonderful opportunity to reconnect with your self, soul and spirit 🙂

Watch this space…….

Disclaimer:  This information is in no way intended to replace psychological treatment should you be suffering from clinical depression and anxiety and be in need of personalised, individual therapy.  This information can be used as an adjunct to your therapy and you can feel free to raise it with your therapist should you have one.  If you are in any way suicidal, please contact your therapist or emergency support services.

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